The Grinch That Stole The Marathon
Most people don’t know why the hundreds of annual marathon races are all 26 miles long. After all, why would anyone want to run continuously for 26 miles?
A small portion of our planet’s population has come to know that the length of a marathon race is 26 miles and 365 yards long (42.195 km). Their acceptance of the odd distance is their understanding that the total length of the race is the distance between the Acropolis in Athens and the site of the Battle of Marathon in Greece. The distance of the race is meant to commemorate the legendary run of an ancient Athenian messenger named Pheidippides, who immediately following the historic Battle of Marathon in 490 BC, between the invading Persian Empire and the vastly outnumbered Athenian army, ran from Marathon to Athens to announce the landmark victory over their invaders.
The story's postscript is that after his grueling endurance run and arrival at the Acropolis, announcing the improbable outcome of the battle, Pheidippides expired from exhaustion. A great story, but most will admit that the last part is probably over the top. Like so many other fantasies considered historical facts, while it may have occurred, there is no evidence to suggest that. In this instance, most modern marathon runners survive the 26-mile run. And besides, the distance between the battlefield in Marathon and the Acropolis in Athens is closer to 24.8 miles.
A recorded history of the event tells of a more incredible feat by old Pheidippides. A 5th-century Greek historian mentions Pheidippides in his account of the historic battle. Herodotus is considered by many to be the “father of history” because he appears to have been the first to bother to write down historical events. According to his account, the Greek generals sent a herald, Pheidippides, to Sparta to request their aid in the imminent confrontation with the Persians. The fact that they sent a herald (or messenger) to run a message is credible. The rocky, mountainous terrain of Greece would have made the trip via horseback unrealistic. In ancient Greece, runners trained for such service. That is not incredible. The distance, however, that Pheidippides ran, is. The distance between Athens and Sparta is about 140 miles. Old Pheidippides ran 140 miles to request help in less than two days.
What is more incredible is that the Spartans refused to help. Due to a religious festival underway, they could only join the battle after the next full moon. Old Pheidippides had to run another 157 miles from Sparta to Marathon to report that the Spartans wouldn’t make it in time.
He likely ran the 24.8 miles to report the ultimate Greek victory without expiring. So, you may be wondering how did the distance get screwed up? Did the Greeks not have the ability to measure distance accurately? No! The Greeks had an obsession with scientific accuracy and perfection. Hell, they invented most of the mathematics you struggled with in school.
No. The fault obviously lies with the British.
What? How could the British be responsible for changing the history of something that occurred two millennia before the British stopped hunting and gathering? Could it be the inability of the British brain to comprehend the apparent contradiction between reality and the concept of royal blood? Those lovable Brits, with their compulsive addiction to pomposity, decided that the royal family’s comfort superseded any need to revere and accurately reflect the meaning behind the marathon event when it became their turn to host the modern Olympics. In fact, when Greece finally resumed the original Olympic Games in Athens in 1896, the marathon distance was set at, you guessed it, 24.8 miles.
However, when the 1908 Olympic Games were held in London, King Edward VII requested (as if any Brit would refuse him) that the marathon race start at his residence at Windsor Castle. The King wanted his family to watch the beginning of the race from his front lawn. He must have concluded it would be too taxing for the royals to be forced to ride the royal coach over to the starting line. However, by starting the event at Windsor Castle, the finish line would fall far short of a finish line in front of the King and Queen’s royal viewing box. What to do?
In a classically British demonstration of elitism and adherence to the asinine premise of royal privilege, the marathon distance was lengthened so that the finish line would find itself precisely in front of Eddie’s viewing box. The royal adjustment extended the length to 26 miles and 365 yards.
Long live the King!
What made this gesture all the more insulting to old Pheidippides was that Eddie didn’t get to reign until he reached retirement age. Before that, it was no secret that Eddie was shielded from royal duties because he was a hopeless playboy who became the personification of the vacuous, leisured elite.
When he finally inherited the throne, eight years before the 1908 London Olympics, he focused on turning prior ceremonies into public displays for the social elite to worship him.
Only two years after his marathon adjustment, Eddie himself expired, but the adjusted marathon distance survives to this day.
